Worthless
by HowAboutThat
Summary: There is nothing I can say to describe this story without giving away the entire plot. I can't even tell you why this is rated T because I'm pretty sure that'll give away everything, too! You'll have to read to find out.


HAT: A one-shot because why not? Also, there's a little bit of news on the bottom that you might want to know about and if you don't want to read, it's on my profile. Anyway, enjoy!

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing side from the plot and mentioned OCs. Having said that, ONWARD, AOSHIMA!**

* * *

There's nothing to do.

Today's one of those rare off days where not even Soos comes in and Stanley wishes dearly that there's something to do other than sit here flipping through channels. The twins are off galavanting with Stanford doing God-knows-what, Soos- from what Stanley was told the day before- was on a virtual date with his girlfriend- and Stanley still doubts that this girl is real- and Wendy's off doing whatever teenage girls' do. And what's he doing? Nothing.

 _Maybe I should open the Shack anyway and do everything myself? It's not like I don't do a lot of the work anyway,_ Stanley thinks when not even _The Dutchess Approves_ seems to be on.

With a groan he pushes himself out of his chair and contemplates getting one of the few beers he has stashed away- or maybe his vodka?- but as soon as he thinks about the twins he discards the idea immediately. He can't get drunk, too many unpredictable things happen when he's drunk and last time... let's just say there's some regret with the last time he got drunk and he's been sober ever since then. So getting drunk is not an option- even on his off days most of the time.

 _Ugh, what else can I do?_

Nothing. Without working in the Shack or doing something with the twins, there's nothing for him to do. He doesn't even remember what he's been doing on his off days for the past twenty years before Dipper and Mabel came to stay for the summer. He absolutely refuses to sit and be left with his thoughts because inevitably his mind will wander down a road that he's been avoiding for _decades_. He can't do that to himself- it's too depressing and will lead him to drinking again.

"Maybe restocking the shelves? Yeah, restocking the shelves is a good idea," he tells himself and almost enters the gift shop when he notices that he doesn't even have pants on.

Usually he wouldn't mind- he walks around in his boxers all the time- but something feels different and he feels that he should at least put on pants. So he goes into his room and pulls on his pants and then the thought that maybe he could go out and do something after he's done restocking the shelves comes to mind. With a shrug he puts on his suit and then fixes his hair and puts on his fez. Once he's satisfied he turns and walks out of the room and goes into the gift shop while whistling the theme song for Duck-tective.

 _Worthless..._

He glances around at the whisper and when he finds nothing he turns back to the boxes that are in front of him and peeks inside before he picks it up and goes to the isle that the items belong. A few minutes into restocking the shelves he feels very tired. He got enough sleep last night- three hours- so he shouldn't be this tired, or so he thinks.

 _Gah, I'll finish this box and go take a nap,_ he convinces himself.

Not even halfway through the box his knees feel weak and he collapses, barely being able to break his fall with his arm. He waits for the black dots to stop swimming through his vision, but they get larger and he can't keep his heavy upper body up from the ground anymore. He curses quietly to himself and blacks out.

...

Worthless...

You can't do anything right!

You couldn't even protect your own daughter.

What kind of father are you?

Won't be able to protect those kids.

You're nothing but a grifter!

You're a thief.

You're a cheat.

Liar!

What makes you think they can ever trust you?!

They'll hate you.

You're a failure.

You're life's worth nothing!

 _Stan presses his hands to his ears to try and block out the voice. "Stop it!"_

 _Despite doing what he can to not hear their whispers, they only get louder and echo in his mind and make him think about all his shortcomings and mistakes. He's refused to think negative thoughts for so long because he knows how emotional he can get and he_ hates _showing how weak he can me- even if he's by himself. He's refused to think these thoughts because he know's they're_ right.

 _Worthless. That's all he is. He couldn't make an honest living even if he tried- and he did try. He's done nothing worthwhile in his entire life._

 _He ruined his brother's chances into getting into his dream school and ten years later pushed him into the portal. He's lied, cheated, and stolen for roughly forty years- even killed a few men and llamas. He couldn't protect anyone he cared for: his brother, his best friend, his wife (which lead to her being weak and dying during childbirth), or even his own daughter when she was only a few feet in front of him- it was supposed to be_ him _. How can he protect his great-niece and nephew when he couldn't protect his loved ones before?_

 _Tears of frustration, guilt, and self-loathing run down his face and he can barely breathe._

 _"Shut up!" Stanley shouts at the top of his lungs and runs._

 _There are so many doors, but he can't choose which one will save him from the voices. Finally he opens a blue door and skids to a stop when he sees himself being held out on the edge of a roof. He quickly turns and exits that memory and immediately goes into another door, but as soon as he opens the door he hears a gunshot and knows that whatever memory it may be that he doesn't want to relive that. Door after door he's faced with everything that he's done wrong with his life._

 _He collapses and breaks down, hands gripping his hair and sobs racking his body. What has he ever done that would make his life worth anything? What's the point of living anymore when everything that he's ever done hasn't done any good? When his greatest mistake has been brought back? He has no reason to live anymore._

I'm... I'm worthless _, he thinks. He's never thought those words before- only been implied with his feelings- but there's something of a finality in those words. Like he's finally admitted the truth._

...

"That was so fun!" Dipper shouts as he enters the Mystery Shack with his sister and great uncle.

"Yeah! And when you went all Olympic acrobat was so cool!" Mabel adds.

Stanford chuckles. "You two weren't bad yourselves. You make a good team!"

"Thanks," both say, sharing a smile with one another.

The three enter the living room and find the TV on, but no one in the living room. It's louder than necessary so Dipper walks over and turns down the volume a little before freezing at a thought.

"Mabel, what time is it?"

Mabel glances at the clock. "About eight... why?"

Dipper glances at the empty chair. " What show comes on at seven-thirty that Grunkle Stan _never_ misses every week?"

Mabel blinks in realization to what her brother is implying. "Boxing re-runs _._ "

"And what channel isn't it on?"

Stanford's eyebrows come together. "Are you sure he's not using the bathroom?"

Dipper decides to take the chance and runs to the bathroom and knocks on it for a moment. When he gets no reply he sticks his head in and sees no one there. While he's doing this Mabel goes to Stanley's room and finds it vacant and Stanford's looking inside the kitchen and on the back porch where he often finds his brother when he's not inside the house.

"Gift shop and lab next!" Dipper shouts and runs into the gift shop.

No sooner than the three enter the gift shop do they hear whimpering. Stanford closes the door to block the noise from the TV and the whimpering and quiet sobs become more distinct. They each peek into the isle where the source of the noise is coming from and find Stanley on the ground with his eyes closed and tears streaming down his face.

Mabel walks forward and tries to wake him up, but he reacts violently and shoves her away from himself. She crashes against the shelf and some merchandise falls onto herself and Stanley, but despite this Stanley doesn't wake up.

"Mabel, are you alright?" Dipper asks, kneeling down beside his twin.

"My head hurts," she grumbles, rubbing the top of her head. "What's wrong with Grunkle Stan?"

Stanford kneels beside his brother and opens one eye after dodging a fist. "I don't know..."

Dipper blinks. "The security camera! We can check that!"

The three run into Stan's office and the twins immediately rewind the tape to where Stanley entered the gift shop. He looks _exhausted_ and downtrodden. He turns around suddenly and then shrugs and turns back to his task at hand. A few minutes later and a triangle floats into his mind and he collapses suddenly.

"Bill!" All three Pines shout in surprise at the same time.

"We have no choice... we have to follow him into Stan's mind," Stanford grunts.

...

 _"Stange... his mind seems to be orientated around the house," Stanford murmurs._

 _"No time, gotta find Grunkle Stan," Dipper states while dragging his sister beside him._

 _"He could be anywhere," Mabel reminds._

 _Stanford frowns. "I think he may be where all the bad thoughts and memories are. That's where Bill does his best work."_

 _"How will we get there?" Mabel asks. "We don't know where it is."_

 _"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"_

 _"Found it," Dipper says._

 _The three take off down the long corridor and stop near where they heard the shout. Without even saying anything out loud they separate and peek into doors to see if their family member is trapped in there somewhere._

 _Stanford opens a door and looks at a younger Stanley in the living room of the Shack with a little girl and a large man holding a gun. Stanley tries to comfort the girl- his daughter Stanford came to the conclusion- and then suddenly there's a gunshot and the girl threw herself in the way while Stanley lost his mind and killed the man responsible._

 _Stanford slams the door shut and feels his stomach churn. Who knows what else happened to Stan in his lifetime? What Stanford_ does _know is that the children shouldn't see stuff like this._

 _Mabel opens a door and looks inside to find Stanley lying on the ground with his body covered in bruises and cuts. She nearly enters, but then she hears a shout from behind her and turns to see Stanford in time to see him slam her door._

 _"What was that for?"_

 _"I think we're going about this the wrong way," he states, glancing around for Dipper._ _Too late. Dipper is seeing young Stanley shooting a man that was trying to attack him._ _Stanford slams that door shut and runs a hand through his hair. "Maybe I should've come in here myself."_

 _"We still need to find Grunkle Stan," Dipper insists and clenches his hands in attempt to keep them from shaking anymore._

 _"AHAHAHAHA! You're too late!"_

 _Suddenly Bill appears with Stanley falling in below of him with chains wrapped around him and a far away look in his eyes while he sobs and mutters something under his breath that can't quite be heard from a distance. Stanford steps forward with a snarl on his lips and the twins look at their great uncle with shock. They'd never seen him like this; he's_ always _strong._

 _"What did you do to him, Bill?!" Stanford demands._

 _"Oh, nothing... just letting him have his mind wander down dark places," Bill says. "You know- you made it_ too _easy to mess with him."_

 _"What're you talking about?" Dipper demands._

 _Bill's eye curves in a way that's reminiscent of a smile. "Just listen to him and you'll find it sounds familiar, Stanford."_

 _Stanford's eyebrows come together and he_ really listens _and hears Stanley murmuring, "I'm worthless" over and over again._

 _Stanford remembers hearing that about his brother since they were kids- even their own father would call him that at times. People would call Stanley dumb and worthless, and just a worse off version of Stanford- even Stanford himself started voicing them when he had said that taking the journal was going to be the first worthwhile thing he'd do in his life._

 _The man's stomach churns with guilt and he looks at his broken brother and bites his bottom lip while trying to figure out a way to help him. This is his brother- after all- and he can't just sit back and watch this Dorito destroy the one person that's sacrificed_ so much _for him. He has to apologize, he has to hug him one more time, he has to spend time with him otherwise he doesn't know what he'll do with himself if Stanley dies in here._

 _"Grunkle Stan, you're not worthless!" Mabel shouts, but he doesn't seem to hear it. "You're worth so much!"_

 _"You're our grunkle," Dipper adds, "and you're our favorite grunkle at that!"_

 _Stanford decides to ignore that and focus on Stanley who went quiet._

 _"You're the best person we've ever met," Dipper insists. "I mean, you've outsmarted Gideon and fought a bunch of zombies- you're_ awesome! _"_

 _"We can't lose you, Grunkle Stan!" Mabel cries._

 _"Nothing you're gonna say is gonna get through to him, kids," Bill says. "He's too far gone."_

 _Stanford licks his dry lips and then starts with a shaky voice. "Stan, I'm sorry... I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me and I'm sorry that you spent thirty years getting me back from a device I should've dismantled long ago and for calling you worthless... I was being stubborn and I didn't want to let my anger go... but I can't fix things between us if you don't think you're worth anything._

 _"Stan, you're so smart- not just in the streets, but you're really extraordinary. You built most of the portal on your own just going off of_ one _of my journals and you're a math wiz! Without you and your neat tricks I couldn't have passed half my math classes. You're clever enough to see through people's lies and you're big hearted enough to compensate for your faults. I don't care what dad said or any of the others say- you're the better half of our duo and you're worth_ everything! _"_

 _Stanley's dull brown eyes lift and look at his brother. "You're lying."_

 _Stanford stares at his brother in disbelief. "Why would you think..."_

 _"How could he know when you're telling the truth or lying when you never even bothered to try and connect with him before?" Bill asks while twirling his cane, a smug gleam in his eye._

 _He's right._

 _"He's not lying, Grunkle Stan!" Mabel shouts and starts running toward the chained man._

 _"Mabel, no!" Stanford and Dipper shout while running after her, but it's too late._

 _The cane grows in size and starts towards Mabel. In that time Stanley can see that his great-niece is about to be crushed and the chains holding him down disappear and he flies towards the girl and throws her back towards her brother and other grunkle just as the cane slams onto the ground, catching his right arm and crushing it completely._

 _"You humans are so weird," Bill laughs._

 _Stanley stands up and clutches his bloodied arm with his left arm. "No one even_ attempts _to hurt my family and gets away with it..."_

 _"Oh, and what're you doing to do?"_

 _"This is_ my _mind so I can do whatever I want," Stanley reminds and immediately a cage falls on top of Bill._

 _-One Fight Sequence Later (Since I'm Too Lazy To Write One)-_

 _"Grunkle Stan!" Dipper and Mabel shout while hugging said relative._

 _He hugs them as best he can with one arm- his right arm still damaged despite his trying._

 _"Don't_ ever _scare us like that again!" Mabel shouts while hitting the man in the chest._

 _He chuckles nervously. "Sorry, sweetie... but right now you two gotta get outta my mind, me and my brother gotta talk."_

 _The two hesitate, but do as asked, leaving the twin brothers to stand in front of each other awkwardly._

 _"So- uh- we still make a pretty good team, huh?" Stanford says with a nervous smile, but his twin doesn't smile back, but instead scrutinizes him._

 _"Did you really meant what you said before? About me not being worthless and you being sorry?"_

 _Stanford's shoulders sag and his eyes soften while he nods. "Yes, I did."_

 _Stanley smiles and nearly tackles his brother in a one armed hug. "I've been waiting on someone to say I'm_ really _worth something for a long time... thanks for that, 'Ford..."_

 _The six-fingered man hugs his brother tightly. "You're really are something, Stan."_

 _"Well, I've just always thought that I was worth so much less than you-"_

 _"_ Don't ever say that again, _" Stanford grunts firmly._

 _Stanley hits his brother over the head. "Let me finish..._ but _I realized that I'm the exact opposite of what everyone else called me and that's thanks to you and the kids."_

 _"Oh..."_

 _"Now let's go, I'm tired of being in this part of my mind. It's depressing as hell."_

...

The older set of Pines twins wake up with groans a few minutes after Mabel and Dipper had.

Stanley sits up and frowns at the funny feeling in his right arm from the middle of his forearm down to his fingers. It's almost like his arm is asleep. No, it's more like when he's first waking up in the morning and he's trying to get his body to cooperate with him, but they don't.

He looks down at it and tries to move his fingers, but they don't work. "What the...?"

"What is it?" Dipper asks

"I can't move my right arm," Stanley replies and then suddenly the fingers wiggle and suddenly they stop. "What's weird..."

Stanford frowns. "Perhaps Bill damaged your nerves in your right arm when he hit you with his staff?"

"I guess," Stanley grunts, but shakes his head and gets up- he'd worry about this later. "Let's go out and get some ice cream!"

"With sprinkles?" Mabel asks.

"Of course! We're _winners!_ "

"Yay!"

With the kids running ahead Stanford puts an arm around his brother. "Chocolate chip mint still?"

"Yeah- you can't beat that classic," Stanley replies with a chuckle.

...

Soon it was found that Stanley _did_ have some nerve damage. His right hand randomly starts and stops- sometimes rapidly like a twitch, sometimes there are long stretches between him being able to move his hand and not being able to, but he quickly adapted and didn't let it get the best of him. Often Mabel would look at his hand when it's "frozen" with a guilty look, but he'd quickly reassure her that everything's fine and it's not her fault and tickle her with his working hand until she was in a better mood.

All in all... everything's finally fallen back into a nice, streaky rhythm.

* * *

HAT: Welp, there's that!

Soos: Dude, you've got to write some humor.

HAT: I know!

Soos: Also, don't you have to tell them the thing?

HAT: Oh, yeah! I won't be able to post as frequently as I have been- y'know, life caught up to me. But I will be updating stories as much as possible... also, I want to make a whole AU out of this- for no other reason other than Stan's hand is messed up.

Soos: Uh- dude, there'a black hole creeping this direction.

HAT: Crap! Say it and let's run!

Soos: Review, dudes!

Both: *run away screaming with a black hole chasing them*


End file.
